The Nukes Of Hazardous

I once tried my hand at writing a comic book, or “graphic novel” if you prefer, though with the stick figures I used for the people it wasn’t very graphic.  Didn’t have the patience to draw out the people more realistically, or even to make them cartoony.

For the subjects in this endeavor I used characters from two of my favorite tv shows, The Dukes Of Hazzard, and Knight Rider.  In my story, the “Nukes” were a family who lived in an old nuclear power plant, of which you can see part of in the title panel.  They have a car called the “Private Lee”(I know, kind of obvious) which is continually losing mechanical parts as it drives along, and also has the ability to “talk” via the 01 on the door panel.  Of course, it can only talk in words or phrases that begin with “O” so it doesn’t have that much to say.

The guests in the story are Mikel Knit and his sarcastic talking car, named… uh, well, I won’t say it, but it rhymes with the name of the car from the real show Knight Rider, “KITT”.

To add to the excitement(whatever), there is even a visit from the starship Enterprise from Star Trek on the second page.  Also look for a cameo from one of my favorite characters from the Sunday comics, Bill The Cat from Bloom County.

I never finished this comic.  I think I just couldn’t decide where to go with it after the Enterprise showed up, and/or I just lost interest in it.  Maybe I will finish it… someday.  Until then, please enjoy, some of, The Nukes Of Hazardous!

BTW, it is kind of hard to read.  Especially the first page. Just do your best.

The Good, The Bad, And The Weird. Part 4

Back when being obscene and “edgy” was considered new and socially relevant, Robert Mapplethorpe could arguably have been one of the most relevant people around.  Though in today’s society he might even be considered tame, most of the photos he took(and unfortunately displayed publicly) could be spliced together to form an xxx-rated moving picture show to rival any that business could come up with.

Which brings me to this first drawing.  A fictional, satirical Mapplethorpe photo that he no doubt would have left in his camera, undeveloped.

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The second drawing I made while the Gulf War was taking place.  It’s just a nonsensical drawing I had come up with because I drank a lot of Tropicana orange juice back then(the kind with the “juicy bits of pulp” was my favorite) and the war was in the news.  So there.

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The Good, The Bad, And The Weird. Part 3

Two for the price of one.  Actually, just two on the same piece of paper.  And you can look at them for free.  What a deal.

The Good, the Bad, and the Weird. Pt. 2

…But mostly stupid.

These next two random drawings were more examples of the “play-on-words” style of humor that I had also incorporated in many of my  Gralen And Jeddy cartoons.

I’ll leave it up to you if it works here about as well as it did there.

The Good, the Bad, and the Weird. Pt.1

Boy, it’s been a long time.

Ok, enough of that.  Until I figure out how to scan my oversized (lost)Gralen & Jeddy cartoons that I found over at my parent’s house, I am going to be uploading some of my random drawings over the next few weeks(or months if I start procrastinating again).

These first two are from the surreal realm, having to do mainly with people being in places you wouldn’t expect them to be in.  I can’t explain that any clearer so I’d better just show you.  Btw, these were made when I was a little older than when I did my Gralen And Jeddy cartoons.  I started doing stuff like this when I was in my late teens to early twenties.

See what I mean?

I mean, what is a clown doing there while some knight is battling a dragon in that first one?!  Although with those “mysterious clown” pics showing up on the internet this one could be considered up to date.

In the battlefield tap dancer one I think I was borrowing that idea from that M*A*S*H episode where Charles dreams he is a magician, though he can’t save the life of the patient, so he starts tap dancing right there in the OR.  That episode was always kind of freaky.

Enjoy and try not to have nightmares.

Fractured Fables

I was thinking of calling this “Fractured Fairy Tales”, but that name was already taken, and this is more of a fable anyway.  But it is no doubt fractured.

But there are a lot of words in this fable, so without further ado, I give you… um, I didn’t give this fable a name so you will have to make up your own.

Hopefully it is all readable.

*Please click on pictures to see a larger version*

You Can’t Fix Cupid

I’ve never liked Valentine’s Day.  I didn’t like it when I was single and I don’t like it now that I am married.  It’s like it makes you feel bad when/because you DON’T have a “significant other” and it makes you feel bad when you DO by making you feel you always have to “one-up” your previous Valentine’s Day gifts and events/ideas.  And Valentine’s Day marketing and advertising does nothing to help that in either situation.

That said, here is my one and only Valentine’s Day episode of Gralen and Jeddy.  It is kind of nonsensical(I know, like which of my cartoons are not?!) because it starts with Jeddy and his girlfriend sitting on a park bench already with love in their eyes, and cupid has to come along and steal Jeddy away from her.

Hey, I thought Cupid’s job was to help bring people together not split them up!  And they were already together as it was.

Ah well, it is better to have loved and lost(to Cupid of all people), than never to have… been made into a silly comic strip.

Like the title says, You Can’t Fix StCupid.  Enjoy, and for what it’s worth, Happy Valentine’s Day! 😉

*Please click on photo to see it better*

Doubting Jessy

First off, I would like to apologize.  I tried, I really tried, to fix the condition that this episode of Gralen And Jeddy is in, because it is really horrible.  But there is only so much that photo editing software can do, and I tried it all.  There are small stains, probably what looks like a chocolate candy bar, and larger ones, which knowing me was probably chocolate milk.  But those things, plus the fact that it was made with my usual habit of scrunching a lot of words together, makes it virtually unreadable(you should see the original BEFORE I “fixed” it).  So thus, I will be transcribing the dialogue for this one.

It starts with Gralen and his son, Jessy, leaving a church service.  Jessy then asks Gralen: “Gralen(don’t ask why he calls his dad by his first name), do you sometimes doubt God?”

To which Gralen replies: “Well, sometimes Jessy, even though you are not supposed to.  And I think if you ask other people if they do doubt God, I think they’ll say no.”

Jessy:  “Well, I am going to see.  Bye!”

Gralen: “But wait…!”

The next panel consists of Jessy running around all over the neighborhood asking people if they doubt in God, with dotted lines marking his path, á la Family Circus.

Gralen: “Well, what did they say?”

Jessy(winded):  “They all said no. Whew!!”

Gralen:  “I told you they would.  And what if I ask if you wanted to go jogging?”

Jessy:  “I’d say no!!”(Falls over)

Gralen:  “Ha Ha. Well then, let’s go home.”

Jessy:  “I’m with you!”

Hmmmm, I wonder how many people would say “no” to Jessy’s question today.

gj-doyoubelieveedit.jpg

The 6 Strips Of Christmas

In the mid-1980’s – and after the rousing success of my “other” comic strip, Collamer(you know, the Gralen And Jeddy spinoff that I quit drawing after two episodes) – I decided to branch out once again with another comic strip.  This time focusing on another interest of mine at that time, space aliens.

I had long been a sci-fi fan, so making a comic strip about aliens coming to earth was right up my alley, and it seemed like a natural progression from my youthful Gralen & Jeddy dino days.  The future looked bright.  At least for 6 episodes.  It was a promising start, but like many of my endeavors, I just didn’t know where to take it next.  This in fact was my last attempt at drawing a new comic strip.  I had bandied about an idea a little later about a strip with two ninjas – one good and one bad – but it never got past the initial drawings of the two main characters.

The “Whizzets” strips themselves are pretty self-explanatory, and hopefully readable, so I won’t add any sub-titles or descriptions and will just lay them out in their full glory.  Note however, their name changes from “Whizzits” with an “i”, to “Whizzets” with an “e” after the first two episodes.  Don’t know why I changed it.  But I guess nobody likes “zits”.  On another note, notice the sideless steps lowered down to the roof from the Whizzets’ spaceship in the fifth episode.  Yeah, I was a fan of the movie, “Flight Of The Navigator”.  Hey, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. 😉

So without further ado, here are the six episodes of “The Whizzets”.  I hope you enjoy them, and have a Blessed Christmas!

 

 

 

 

How dry I am.

Moving away temporarily from Gralen and Jeddy episodes to showcase another of my odd, random cartoons.  This one I did probably in the late 80’s to early 90’s.  It’s hard to tell because of my habit of not dating my cartoons.  Maybe I could have them carbon-dated to be sure, or maybe the amount of yellowing of the paper could unveil their age to someone who knows how to read that sort of thing.

Anyway, this cartoon continues the “hot summer” theme of my last posting.  I either drew this cartoon based on all the hot, summer nights I spent as a child(we didn’t have air conditioning.  Not that it didn’t exist, we just didn’t have it) as a way to bear it, or else I drew it to fondly remember those hot, summer days.

Since we lived in Wisconsin(and still do), it could very well be the latter.  Since summer here lasts only about 3 months.

In a good year.